Pamela Jane Gerrand Music Tripping on the Truth

Tripping On The Truth

Genre : Pop

Released Date : 1 / Apr / 2001

1. Me So Far
2. Standing Outside of Myself
3. Tripping on the Truth
4. Mermaids
5. River of Dreams
6. Island
7. Ring Around Rosie
8. The Body Remembers
9. Let It Burn
10. Witness
11. October Sky
12. Stronger Than You Know

TRIPPING ON THE TRUTH

INSPIRATION

Tripping on the Truth, Pam Gerrand´s debut CD, reflects her emergence as a songwriter, marrying her poetic explorations of the human heart with her ability to draw the listener into an intimate, emotional world with the textures of her hauntingly powerful voice. Shifting from the world of theatre, and songs authored by others, Pam was drawn to tell the stories bumping up on the shore of her heart. Having been a singer all her life, the writer in her emerged with the birth of her children. She says it was with this ultimate act of creativity, bringing new life into the world, that her heart opened like the flowers of a lotus blossom, and a new emotional and creative depth was revealed. “It was as though the kaleidoscope of my heart was tipped to the light, and shimmering jewels of fresh awe and wonder began to form in the world that had always been around me. I began to feel such compassion and love for all beings. As I became a mother, the voice of the Divine Feminine awakened in me, and I felt compelled to document the powerful places where “pain and joy collide´ in our lives, telling the stories of the beautiful mystery that is our universal human experience.”

Pam´s songs were brought to life by the artistry and imagination of guitarist/producer Ray Montford, who wove the common thread of her voice into the unique melodic raiment of each song. Pam was accompanied by some of Canada´s finest musicians on Tripping on the Truth; Gary Craig on drums, John Dymond on bass, George Koller on cello, and Ray Montford on guitars. The bed tracks were recorded at The Bathhouse, The Tragically Hip´s recording studio situated on Lake Ontario, outside Kingston, Ontario.

Recorded over a long weekend in early October, Pam remembers getting up early every day while her bandmates slept. She recalls one morning when doing some early morning yoga on the shimmering shores of Lake Ontario, more than 300 Canada geese took flight from a nearby field and flew overhead on their trajectory south. She learned that this location was on their flight path from Ontario to Florida, and on this unseasonably warm October day, it was an incredible sight, mirroring her feeling that weekend of her dreams taking flight in the recording of her first CD.

From that sublime experience, she recalls going back to the house and making brunch for the band and crew. Arrangements had been made for catering in the evening, but Pam had agreed to provide the other meals. Flipping eggs and bacon (thanks to Johnny Dymond for toast production!) for this crew, a real family feeling set in, and after brunch, Pam went into the studio and sat down at the grand piano. She recorded “Mermaids” in one take at high noon that Sunday, and a feeling of all being right with the world, a sense of effortless and flow, affirmed her feeling that this was what she came here to do.

LYRICS

ME SO FAR

I have no regrets, I only have desires
And I am rising up, like the phoenix from the fire
In reaching for the stars, do I have to get burned
And do I get a new one when this lesson is learned

This is me so far
I have so far to go
But I have come so far
Down this winding road

I have battle scars that cannot be erased
But wounds turn into wisdom in the presence of grace
No, I have no regrets, I only have desires
And I am rising up like the phoenix from the fire

This is me so far
I have so far to go
But I have come so far
Down this winding road
Down this winding road

Gotta have faith in the future
No point in worrying about the past
´Cause we´re all in this together
And it all goes by so fast

This is me so far
I have so far to go
But I have come so far
Down this winding road

STANDING OUTSIDE OF MYSELF

Sometimes I feel
Nothing is real
Sometimes it seems
All that I have is my dreams
All that I’ve ever had is my dreams

Cold light of day
You walk away
And so it seems
You walk away with my dreams
I thought that you were part of my dream

Standing outside of myself
I see my life on the shelf
And now you’re gone
But life will go on
And I will start a new dream
All that I’ve ever had is my dreams

Comes a new dawn
And I’m feeling strong
I’ve shed the skin
That once let you in and take hold of me
I’ve shed the tears of sorrow’s sweet release

Standing outside of myself
I see my life on the shelf
And now you’re gone
But life will go on
And I will start a new dream
All that I’ve ever had is my dreams
All that I’ve ever had is my… dreams

TRIPPING ON THE TRUTH

Truth is like a shadow
Never black or white
Drowning in the darkness
I keep looking for the light
Life is like an onion
The more layers that I peel
The more my eyes sting with the truth
It hurts to feel

I keep tripping on the truth
On the lies we live behind
On the lies we leave behind
I keep tripping on the truth
Can’t read between the lines
Can’t breathe between the lines

Trust is like quicksand
So easy to lose ground
I keep tripping, keep on slipping
On that slope to higher ground
I was asking you for something
That you didn’t have to give
But you gave me your truth
You gave me your truth
You asked me to forgive

I keep tripping on the truth
On the lies we live behind
On the lies we leave behind
I keep tripping on the truth
Can’t read between the lines
Can’t breathe between the lines

Life is like an onion
The more layers that I peel
The more I see how hard we try
To love-To love and to be real
To love and to be real…

MERMAIDS

Wounded pride, too many places to hide
When did you stop seeing me
There was a day when you couldn’t look away
Your eyes, they burned right through me
But lately it seems that my edges are blurry
I’m starting to fade away

You can see my lips are moving
But you can’t hear what I say
Words have lost their meaning
They just seem to get in the way

The years they do roll, the silence takes its toll
When did you stop hearing me
You used to say my voice swept you away
You hung on ev’ry word from me
But lately it seems that we’re both in a hurry
I’m starting to fade away

You gave me your fire to have and to hold
But life on this island is damp and cold
You knew that someday I would need to be free
And I’ve heard the mermaids singing
Calling you into the sea
Oh-calling you into the sea

You can see my lips are moving
But you can’t hear what I say
Words have lost their meaning
They just seem to get in the way

You can see my lips are moving
But my words are lost in the wind
Where I’ve heard the mermaids singing
And I think that they’re pulling you in
Oh, I think that they´re pulling you in

Even a rock can crumble
Even the mightiest oak can give way
You’ve always been the strong one
You are my rock, my oak, my way

I can see that you’re crying
Even though the tears never fall
I can feel your sorrow
I can feel the weight of it all

Take my hand, and we will stand
In the river of our dreams

The river may be frozen
But far below the water still flows
Bending, ever yielding,
Is the only way that it knows

So let me take you dreaming
We’ll leave the weight of worry behind
Feel the sweet surrender
Flowing as the river unwinds

Take my hand, and we will stand
In the river of our dreams
Water wash away the tears
In the river of our dreams

Let the river set you free
In the river you will see
I’ll hold you ’till, time stands still
In the river of our dreams
In the river of our dreams

ISLAND

The calendar has changed
All those zeros seem so strange
In the twilight, on the verge
Living life at warp speed
Science and technology
Have we really been set free?
My machine will talk to yours
Is there anybody out there?

Come on over to my island
I’ll be waiting on the shore
Come on over to my island
You won’t be lonely anymore
Come on over to my island
I will shelter you from harm
I will be your island
The calm within the storm

We live in tiny boxes
The walls go up so high
We’re living on an island
Without the sand and sky
I open wide my window
I hunger for your voice
I’m thirsty for your company
I need to fill the void

Bullet trains and speedy cars
Take us to the promised land
Leaves fall from the family tree
Scattering our destiny

When Rosie came to this world, her destiny was clear
Many’d try to hold her, but none would get too near
Rosie was a dreamer, she saw the stars shine through
But she felt the numbing danger in her Monday morning suit
Yes, Rosie saw it coming in her February face
Didn’t recognize this stranger in this Monday morning place

Don’t put a ring around Rosie
She was meant to fly
Don’t put a ring around Rosie
It’ll only make her cry, cry,
Cry, cry…

Somehow he got to her, just how, she wasn’t sure
She felt her world was shifting, for once she wanted more
She wanted to embrace this, take off her mourning suit
Put on the graceful mantle of a love, of a love that would bear fruit

Don’t put a ring around Rosie
She was meant to fly
Don’t put a ring around Rosie
It’ll only make her cry, cry,
Cry, cry…

She said I don’t need a band of gold as witness of your love
Just put your arms around me… I’ll put down my battle gloves…

Don’t put a ring around Rosie
She was meant to fly
Don’t put a ring around Rosie
It’ll only make her cry, cry, Cry, cry…

Don’t put a ring around Rosie
Can’t keep a comet in a cage
Don’t put a ring around Rosie
She’s turning, she’s turning a new page
Fly, fly…

THE BODY REMEMBERS

The body remembers what the mind cannot hold
Echoes of love brought in from the cold
The heat of the kiss, the blood as it stirs
Oh the body remembers what time blurs

I want to live my life to the bones
Find my pain a new home
I want to shed my skin
Want to let you back in
‘Cause my body remembers that you feel like home
Oh yes, my body remembers that you feel like home

The body remembers what the mind has erased
Pain buried deep beneath layers of disgrace
The wound ‘neath the scar, ‘X’ marks the place
Oh the body remembers when the mind ran away

When the silent undertow of the past
Pulls my mind below
The steady thunder that beats in my chest
Calls, calls, my spirit home

LET IT BURN

Love is like fire, it starts with a spark
Lights up the corners inside of your heart
Love is a flame, a flickering hope
You know that you´re falling
But you let go ´o the rope

I´ve tried to run, I´ve tried to hide
I have denied what I feel inside
After a while you learn
Sometimes to put out the fire
You´ve gotta let it burn

For so long now, I have run from the flame
´Cause I have been burned again and again
Just when I thought my heart had grown cold
You started a fire
Down deep in my soul

I´ve tried to run, I´ve tried to hide
I have denied what I feel inside
After a while you learn
Sometimes to put out the fire
You´ve gotta let it burn
Sometimes to put out the fire
You´ve gotta let it burn
You´ve gotta let it burn

The fire bears watching, or it can go out
So let those sweet words just fall from your mouth
I´ll stir the ashes when the fire starts to fade
I won´t turn my back on the love that we´ve made

I´ve tried to run, I´ve tried to hide
I have denied what I feel inside
Took me a while to learn
Sometimes to put out the fire
You´ve gotta let it burn
Sometimes to put out the fire
You´ve gotta let it burn
You´ve gotta let it burn

WITNESS

Resisting the urge to hibernate
I run to the yard, throw open the gate
I sweep out regret, hope comes rushing in
I put on my thicker skin
But my heart´s on my sleeve, it´s open and raw
I see this as weakness, you witness no flaw
I feel creeping shadows leave lines on my face
You see a face of courage, you witness grace

Life is short, love is long
Fear is weak, but love is strong,
You are my witness
In your eyes I see
All that I´m meant to be
All that I´m meant to be

Resisting the urge to hesitate
I run to your arms, and in your embrace
I feel the strength of your love rushing in
It fits like a second skin

Life is short, love is long
Fear is weak, but love is strong
Your love unbinds me
Your love reminds me
Your love is what I need
To be all that I´m meant to be

Life is short, love is long
Fear is weak, but love is strong,
You are my witness
In your eyes I see
All that I´m meant to be
All that I´m meant to be

OCTOBER SKY

Maybe it´s the smell of burning wood
´Cause when I close my eyes I swear I could
Hear the sweet sound of your first cry
Sing me open wide
Pain and joy collide

Maybe it´s the sky so brilliant blue
Reminds me of your eyes that first day I held you
On the day that you were born, my sweet child
Like a trembling leaf I fell into your love so wide

And I cannot tell you, no I cannot say why
But an October Sky always makes me cry

Maybe it´s how the leaves turn to flame and gold
Or how you slip your hand into mine when it is cold
Or maybe it´s the way this love has no end
From the edge of time this flesh and blood will mend

And I cannot tell you, no I cannot say why
But an October Sky always makes me cry

No I cannot tell you, I cannot say why
But an October Sky always…always makes me cry

STRONGER THAN YOU KNOW

For many years she wore
A dress that never fit
But everyday she put it on
And hoped that she´d grow into it

For many years she wore
Shoes that took her where
Music played and people danced
And all alone she stood and stared

And when her heart was crying
And her hope was dying
She heard the whispers of her soul
She heard the whispers say
You´re stronger than you know
You´re stronger than you know

For many years she wore
A smile to hide the pain
But every time she glimpsed the light
The darkness would descend again

For years she tried to fill
The emptiness inside
But this hunger knew no end
And no one saw the tears she cried

And when her heart was crying
And her hope was dying
She heard the whispers of her soul
She heard the whispers say
You´re stronger than you know
You´re stronger than you know

For many years she wore
A life that never fit
But everyday she put it on
And hoped that she´d grow into it

LINER NOTES

Though we seem to be sleeping,
there is an inner wakefulness
that directs the dream,
and that will eventually startle us back
to the truth of who we are.
~ Rumi
From “The Essential Rumi”
Translation by Coleman Barks

We are all searching for truth in our lives.
Big truth and little truth. God truth and
personal truth. Truth in relationships in the
form of honesty, openness and trust.
Along the way we stumble, we falter, we
trip on our frailty and fear. Tripping on the
Truth reflects the inadvertent, sublime
wisdom we gain as we trip on the painful,
exultant truth in our lives, and rise again,
stronger for the knowing. Tripping also
evokes the connotation of a heady, euphoric
state, which I believe we experience as we
surrender to rhythm and melody, and
we glimpse as we discover the silence
where Real Truth resides.
-Pam Gerrand

ME SO FAR 3:22
Gary Craig / drums and percussion, John Dymond / bass, Ray Montford / acoustic and electric guitars, Pam Gerrand / vocals
© 2001 Pam Gerrand SOCAN

STANDING OUTSIDE OF MYSELF 4:53
Gary Craig / drums and percussion, John Dymond / bass, Ray Montford / acoustic and electric guitars, Pam Gerrand / vocal
© 2001 Pam Gerrand SOCAN

TRIPPING ON THE TRUTH 5:24
Gary Craig / drums and percussion, John Dymond / bass, Ray Montford / acoustic and electric guitars, Pam Gerrand / vocals
© 2001 Pam Gerrand SOCAN

RIVER OF DREAMS 4:55
Gary Craig / drums and percussion, John Dymond / bass, Ray Montford / acoustic and electric guitars, Greg Thomas / hammond organ, Rob Greenway / triangle, Pam Gerrand / vocals
© 2001 Pam Gerrand SOCAN

ISLAND 3:33
Gary Craig / drums, John Dymond / bass, Ray Montford / electric guitar, Pam Gerrand / vocal
© 2001 Pam Gerrand SOCAN

RING AROUND ROSIE 4:08
Gary Craig / drums, John Dymond / bass, Ray Montford / acoustic and electric guitars, Greg Thomas / wurlitzer, accordion and piano, Rob Greenway / hand drum and shaker, Pam Gerrand / vocal
© 2001 Pam Gerrand SOCAN

THE BODY REMEMBERS 3:19
Pam Gerrand / vocal, Ray Montford / acoustic guitar loops, Rob Greenway / hand drums & Egyptian tambourine
© 2001 Pam Gerrand SOCAN

LET IT BURN 3:30
Gary Craig / drums, John Dymond / bass, Ray Montford / electric guitar, Greg Thomas / Hammond organ, Pam Gerrand / vocal
©2001 Pam Gerrand Socan

WITNESS 4:14
Gary Craig / drums and pod loop, John Dymond / bass, Ray Montford / acoustic and electric guitars, Greg Thomas / accordion, Pam Gerrand / vocal
©2001 Pam Gerrand Socan

OCTOBER SKY 3:48
We recorded the bed tracks for this record on the first weekend in October, 2000 at
The Bathouse near Kingston, Ontario. This song came to me on the drive home
to Stratford. With the combination of the musical alchemy we had just shared, the beauty of the autumn leaves against the sky, and my daughter´s birthday just days away, something shifted in me, and this song was born. We had already chosen all the
material for the record, but thought it fitting that we include it here. I dedicate it to the
sublime moments of creative synchronicity that like any birth, profoundly change us.
George Koller / dilruba, Pam Gerrand / piano and vocal
©2001 Pam Gerrand Socan

CREDITS and THANKS

Making this record has been an incredible journey, and I am deeply grateful to these people who have made the trip so memorable… Ray ~ your intuitive and passionate musicianship has inspired me to new heights and has breathed spirit and soul into this music… thank you for the collaboration of my dreams. My gratitude to the musicians who gave so generously of their gifts and groove ~ Gary, John, Greg, Rob and George. From Cherry Beach to the Bathouse, my thanks to Ray, John and Gary for their inspired and soulful work on the arrangements. To the Bathouse gang ~ Ken, Aaron and Deb (yum!) thanks for a wondrous weekend. To Jeff at Reaction ~ thanks for going the extra mile. Heidi ~ thank you for your laughter, your vision, and for being there since the beginning. Champagne bubbles to you for this ultimate Creative Feat. Terry ~ kudos to you for capturing the music of color and light on film. For their friendship, musicianship and generosity of spirit: Jim Neil (it all started at Owlsville), Kevin Muir (for taking the songs from my head to the page to the stage), Loreena McKennitt and Bill Bruce at Quinlan Road (for “The Book” and your sage advice), Connie Kaldor (for your inspiration and know-how), Lona and David (for my home away from home), Blair Packham, Doug Balfour, Laura Burton, Paul Shilton, Dave Campion, Terry McKenna, David Dunbar, Brenda McAlpine, Alison Dale, Mark Camilleri, Michael Fox, Steve Rae, Rick Francis, Gail Selkirk, Gay Allison, Ed Vandendool, Jeff Leney, Steve Roth and Dale Hobbs. My gratitude to Lisa Carey for the inspiration of her beautiful book “The Mermaids Singing”.

Heartfelt thanks to my family: My parents, Gerry and Ella Gerrand ~ who by the ?example of their lives have taught me to seek truth and beauty. Your love and support continues to nourish and sustain me. Nancy ~ thanks for the push, and the pull of your big heart. David ~ for being the best big brother. Wendy ~ thank you for teaching me to sing over the bones… you are stronger than anyone I know. This one’s for you Ruth, I know you´re dancing up there. Stephen ~ thank you for your endless acts of love and laundry, your sense of humour, and your boundless faith. Your steadfast support has given me strength beyond measure. To Carly and Jared ~ you are my teachers, my inspiration, and the doorway to my soul. You are the reason I sing.

All songs written by Pam Gerrand except track 1 with words by Pam Gerrand and music by Pam Gerrand and Ray Montford / Produced by Ray Montford / Recorded by Ken Friesen and assisted by Aaron Holmberg at The Bathouse, Bath, Ontario and by Ray Montford at The Soundhole, Toronto, Ontario / Mixed by Ray Montford at The Soundhole / Mastered by Jeff Elliott at Reaction Studios, Toronto, Ontario / Manufactured in Canada / All rights reserved / Any unauthorized copying or duplication is strictly prohibited / Graphic Design and Art Direction by Heidi Holdsworth at Creative Feats, Stratford / Photography and images by Terry Manzo, Stratford / Creator/origin of water drop image is unknown /
©2001 Pam Gerrand SOCAN
IndieGo Records

Tripping On The Truth

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TRIPPING ON THE TRUTH

INSPIRATION

LYRICS

LINER NOTES